Monday, January 23, 2012

1-23-12 Soul Direction

What matters is how quickly
you do what your soul directs.
Rumi


1-23-12  Soul Direction

Friday night after work I went to get my free intuitive healing session that I won the night I went to the Hypnotism fair. What a treat that was! 90 minutes of massage, energy healing, aromatherapy and crystal work! She told me that my angles had come and done nearly all the work on me and that I really should start working with them more. I told her that I do Angel Card Readings but she said I really need to do more work with them and let them help me with my Reiki services. At the end of the session I handed her my business card and she said oh my you are THAT Cassie! I have been on your calendar and I want to post my stuff there. I felt very good about the whole thing and that I had begun the link to my new spiritual community that my Shaman had promised me about this time last year. I stopped and got groceries on the way home and then once I was home eating my dinner I realized that Randy never came to get the solar cell phone charger so I texted him. He ended up calling and we talked for a long time. He asked if I wanted to go to Vermont with him and I said you were supposed to give me some notice and I barely have heard from you so I made other plans, life goes on...... He just said oh so I rambled on and told him about Clint.....and even bigger Oh. I assured him I would keep my promise and stay his friend but I just needed a man who wanted to be with me I told him. Oh was the most he could say, that and were ya happy that I fixed your air cleaner? He says he did it telepathically. I told him I did not belive him and if that were true to come give me a back rub as well because I pulled a muscle. LOL

Saturday I woke up and my cat was sleeping on the foot of my bed, made me wonder if Randy had anything to do with that. I had told him that I was dissapointed that my new cat was not being cuddly like I thought he was going to be. I refrained from texting to ask and tried to think more about Clint, who hadn't written me back since I spoke to Randy. Darn I hope I did not mess up my focus I thought to myself. There was a layer of snow all over and I was glad that I had backed out of the dance for this night but I still had to get out to the post office because I had sold two things on E-bay, the winter men's base layer that Columbia had given to me for advertising for them in my meetup. Two guys came and offered to do my drive and walk for $20 so I went for it, I could have gone out and got it done eventually myself but they looked like they could use the money. Then I got a call from my friend Ray from  True Path Readings, I had scheduled a reading and I needed one to re-group for the new year. It really helped me a great deal, he said that I can and will have abundance finacially but I need to take small steps to get there, I need to show more gratitude for what I have in my life now and that also means by not worrying about the future. He said he saw no romance in the next few months but he saw a young man who would come for a short time to teach me some things and he saw an older female also coming in later on to teach me some things and to help me learn to earn money slowly. He cautined me very much also about focusing on ONE thing at a time and to be careful where I put my energy as I was very powerfu. I told him I sometimes feel like a bull in a china shop with my energy and I so easily make things go away and come back and stuff. I promised to work on it.
By evening I hadn't heard from Clint and I got a little worried that my talking and thinking about Randy had perhaps shifted him away, well I am the master of my fate I am going to fix that! So I wrote to him and we had a few exchanges and I was hoping he would call but he said he was sick so I told him to get some rest before his flight home the next day. I was feeling just a tiny bit lonely home alone on a saturday night and then my phone rang, it was Randy, he was driving all alone with his snowmobile up to Vermont. Why don't you head up here he said? No I told you no I told you I have an event and I told you I am working on dating someone new so going away with you isn't part of the plan anymore. We ended up talking for over 4 hours though, about stuff, about him being so lonely, and somehow we got back on the topic of our past relationship. I am not even going to re-iterate it all again, its so tiresome. He did tell me though that part of my problem was I wasn't greatful enough and I was too impaitent, that things would have grown over time, he said he thinks he is my soulmate too but I rushed things too much. I know that I did make quite a few mistakes with that relationship, I did want too much too quickly, but all I really wanted for was for him to grow up just a little bit to be more responsible and less selfish and not want to leae me alone so much while he went to play. But I was coming from a great place of such deep need back then. I did tell him that I had thought he was my soulmate because he has powers (he did tell my cat to get in my bed and cuddle with me) and because he and I dreams dreams together and I thought he was the one I was meant to marry because Mary kept telling me that but he chose them and so be it. He again said I forced that on him, the situation with them because I left such a hole in his life when I left that he filled it any way he could but I stopped him. I am not going to rehash the past anymore I am moving forward towards my future........ I thought he got the point......I think I was wrong.....


Sunday morning he texted me before heading out to show me the temperature up there, so I sent back a be safe and have fun, text me when u get in tonight so I know u r safe....ok honey he replied......UGH!.....and CALL "the wife" and be sure and bring he a present you have to make what you have work.....anything else dear? Now I was annoyed so I said yeah use your powers to help me with Clint, I need a partner too. Sure will sweetie he said..........Oy Vey! Ok Thanks my friend, be well I sent back. I thought he would be done then and going out to ride but no he sent I MISS YOU....well he had obviously ingnored my 20 mintue dissertaion last night on don't miss me I don't miss you anymore. I decided to just ignore him so he'd go away.....No he sent one more, Let's have phone sex tonight he sent. Now I was mad, not only would he NOT do that when we were dating he was totally ignoring what I had said........my reply: Nah that's no fun. That shut him up. I colored my hair after that, took a shower and called my friend who is sick to give her a distance Reiki session over the phone. I am going to practice doing that more, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, I am going to call in the angels and get them to assist me. I only had time for a quick 15 minute session but she said she felt good and I told her to sleep now for a bit. I hung up and headed out to my Karaoke event.

Karaoke was loads of fun again even though I did not sing. First one guy was sad and not feeling well so we talked, he has been having some problems on the dating sites and how people have been reacting badly to him. He's such a catch too, a doctor, a wonderful personality, lots of fun....it was hard to see him down. I listened to his stories from the dating site and told him it's not him it's them, he cheered up as he sang and the day went on. Several of my old friends from past karaoke events came too, it was sooooo good to see them. My friend Denise came with her husband, it was so inspiring to see them together he is so kind and loving to her and they both love Karaoke. I want to find a man who shares a hobby or two with me. It doesn't have to be all of the but something ya know? When I got home I had not heard from Clint all day and I worried that my talking to Randy had given the wrong message to the universe so I sent him a note to check on him, he was still sick he said so I told him I would say some prayers for him and to get some rest. That night I did not hear from Randy to know if he came home from sledding safe, I resisted texting to check too. He is not my concern or my responsibility I need to not check on him. I went to bed and felt ok with that choice. The next morning Clint e-mailed me bright and early saying thanks for the prayers and he was feeling much better. Yep time for me to put a little focus on this and see how it goes... I also heard from my bank saying they recieved notice to discuss my mortgage with the towships lawyer, apparently my saying prayers and focusing on the house a bit helped. Ray was right, one step at a time, focus focus focus.... I need to unload this house as my first step and my second step is to work on earning more money so that I can pay off these credit cards. I am going to put my focus on getting Reiki clients and the other stuff on the back burner for now..... I have some direction now I know where to head...

Today I want you to take some quie time and listen to your soul, in your heart you know where you should be heading. Why be stubborn and put it off? Or afraid to make a move? All that you need do in any given moment is take one baby step in the right direction.....

With Love and in the Light, Cassie

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