1-13-12 Like a Shepard

Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder.
Help someone's soul heal.
Walk out of your house like a shepherd.
Rumi ♥

1-13-12  Like a Shepard

Monday after work I went to volunteer at hospice, I only stayed about a half hour because the patient said she had to go to the rest room and I am not allowed to take her. It's really hard for me to take my time and go when she pretty much is incoherent and can't communicate and I don't know if she knows I am even there, but I trust that the universe put me here with this patient for a reason. Sometimes volunteering isn't about the warm fuzzy feeling you get for doing good, sometimes its just about doing good. I did help the agency however as I noted that the volunteer before me wrote in the book that he had fed her dinner and we are not allowed to feed them either, its not safe for us to do so and we aren't liscenced. I texted my supervisor and let her know, she was very grateful. I headed towards home as I then a dinner meeting with Joe on how we can help people and make money doing it, but my roommate started texting me and arguing about leaving the key, got very belligerent with me, so I had to go home and deal with him. I then ended up cleaning the room and doing the laundry and was grateful that Joe got stuck in the city and we cancelled our meeting.

I sat down for a bit to check my e-mails and saw that someone wrote me and told me I had a typo in one of my posted events, instead of getting annoyed I just thanked her and said that I type so fast and sometimes so late in the night or early in the morning that I do make mistakes. The old me from a few years ago would have been annoyed but I wasn't. Ends up this woman was an English major preparing for a big exam on Saturday and she was nervous, she want's to become a teacher. So I thanked her and told her I would pray for her and that she was really good at her stuff! She was very grateful, I am glad that I reacted the way that I did.
I also noted a news story of a 10 year old boy who was playing with a gun and shot himself in my town, guess I don't live in Hunterdon county anymore!. All the more reason I need to be here so I can pray for these people and bring love and light here.

Wednesday after work I head to the Chiropractor then towards the gym, but the traffic was horrendous due to some utility work, plus I was having some chest pains, been having a little squeezing thing going on for a week or so now. I keep giving Reiki to my heart and shoving out my fears of heart attack, just because my mom had them does not mean I am going to have them. At any rate I decided to skip the gym, got my groceries and I headed home.When I arrived someone was at my front door, in the dark, and when I pulled in the drive he came over to me claiming to have a large sum of my money and he wanted a reward for it. I told him that I had not lost any money and he whips out the rent check I had mailed to my landlord. Again he demanded a reward and I said that I can just cancel it at my bank and he said that will cost me $25 wouldn't it be easier to give him a reward. I got him to give me the check and I went inside and told him to wait that I would bring a reward........and I called the cops on him. The officer said he was a local scam artist. I felt a little foolish calling the police over this but I wanted to send a loud and clear message to this guy so that he wouldn't do this to me again or anyone else. I texted Randy about it and he only sent me a couple of one word answers. Cest La vie, he's busy with his kids and I need to busy myself even more with my own life. There had been a quote on my page that day about once I knew who I was by beloved would come....

Thursday it was pouring rain all the way to work, it's days like this I am very discouraged to live so far from the office, it's days like this I want to look for something closer to home. But I love my supervisor so much he is the kindest and fairest boss I think I ever had. I went to an event that night on the way home and saw a friend of mine, we got to talking about divorce and the divorce group I am in now and I told him how I had not wanted to join, after having been divorced for 15 years I did not need any help but I said once I got there i realized that I could in fact help a lot of them! I had experiences to share, things to tell, stuff to talk about and encouragement to give. It dawned on me as I spoke to him the message that I had heard on the book on CD I am listening to currently The Seat of the Soul it was about finding a mate and sharing your life and it said that too many of us look for a partner who can give to us and we think little of what we can give to our partner. I realized that I had been focusing just a bit much on finding a man who can take care of me and will buy me a house. I will take care of him but still I need to not focus so strongly on what I need and more on what I wish to share. I reflected also on the altercation I had earlier in the week with one of my friends who I allow to post stuff and find people to come to his events, he posted something for someone else and wanted me to attend. I said I may if they can wave the $5 fee, he got indignant saying that I have a job and they do not have jobs and I should pay. I said that the free advertising I give them is worth hundreds of dollars. I left the event up but I declined to attend, not that I couldnt have givne the $5 and I may have once there but I truly do not want to associate with black holes anymore. I wish to give and to help others but I must also use wisdom. Its hard, daily prayer and guidance is necessary least you fall off the cliff yourself... But even a shephard while he looks over and cares for his sheep will keep the predators away...

Today I want you go not think of yourslef and go out and see what you can do and give and be for others......everyone needs something and no matter who you are or what you have you have something to give......someone to reach out to...someone to help........but beware of the predators too!


With Love and in the Light, Cassie