2-6-12 Circling Round and Round

"Everything the Power does, it does in a circle."
~Lakota Proverb ~

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2-6-12  Circling Round and Round

Friday after work I took Jeremy to run some errands and get a few groceries. I had put a good deal of the rent money to a couple of bills and got money orders at the post office for them so I have very little for groceries. I tried to get Jeremy to buy some things for himself, point out good deals on things he liked but he declined, finally admitting he needed to keep what was left on his card for the days he would be away at his friends house. I realized he would need money for that, and he had bought milk and a few things at the dollar store so I eased up on him. Driving home though we talked about him getting a job now and he agreed that it wasnt wise to try to wait and go to school next fall. I went to bed that night doing my best to keep the money fears at bay,

Saturday I had my first event with the new fitness meetup, I have started a walking group, or rather re-started the one I tried to start last year this time. It was quite succesful, 9 people came and we had a lovely time and many high hopes for future walks. Three of us even went to eat breakfast at the diner after. They were so greatful for a group for people who can't keep up with the regular groups, and also allows dogs and kids. I saw a need and I filled it! That makes me so happy. I came home, ran Jeremy up to Bridgewater then came home and took a nap.

Randy came over at 6, we were supposed to go out and "get some food" together as he calls it but neither of us was hungy. So we sat and we talked and he told me all about his new buddy he may go snowmobiling with next weekend. A few things he said, and a gut hunch told me that guy may blow him off but I said nothing hoping that I was wrong. Since we didn't want to eat I said well I could ue a back rub, I am stressed and been having chest pains that scare me so we went in my room and he promised we would go out to eat later......... We had some fun and then we talked about many things, one thing being that I have been "smelling Pot" lately. Not that someone was smoking pot but the smell when there is a spirit around me trying to get my attention. My grandma used to always have me smell cookies baking, my ex husband would blow cigarette smoke in my face. So I asked him did he see anyone around me trying to get my attention and he timidly said yeah and described my Grandma perfectly even though he had never even seen a picture of her. I asked him if she was saying anything and he said he can't hear her. It ticks me off to no end how that family he lives with put him down and was freaked out by his gift and he has supressed it so much. I know in my heart he was meant to work with me and we could have done great things to help many.......but anyway.....my next statement was OMG my GRANDMA see us naked and in bed??

So that freaked me just a little but then I got over it. Then he was getting up so he could go to the restroom and we talked about maybe going out to eat then but when he got up I noticed he looked like he could use some more fun so I promised to take care of that when he got back...... But then he picked up his phone and he said they were texting him looking for him so I said fine- GO. MY happy mood and any shred of desire to be with him went out the window. As he was leaving I said well see I wasn't greey I saved some for "the wife", he didn't like that one bit, not one bit at all and said I was being mean, very mean. I hadn't said it mean or angry I just said it, he really does get his cake and eat it too with what he's got here I did tell him though again he is just my friend who comforts me, I am looking for a boyfriend still. We are going to Vermont together in a couple weeks, I so need to rest and relax and have a change of scenery. I will go and for those few days it will be just us, well just us and his snowmobile! LOL .....but for 4 days ONLY that's all I can steal of him, it will do...

Sunday I woke up inspired to give three free angel card readings to my Angel group in facebook. I had ment to do them monday when I was off but three people asked right away so I did them and they were very pleased with the readings. After that I went to the gym and ran some errands amd came home to shower. When I looked at myself in the mirror and sucked in my stomach I could see it move up! It IS getting smaller!  I spent the afternoon doing computer work then in the evening I went to a big Super Bowl Party with one of my friends Meetup groups.  It was fun but not hugely fun, when I went to the restroom after the halftime show I checked my phone, there was a text from Randy saying he was so bored and how to people stand to watch football. I laughed and said well did you at least like Madonna? He replied that was awesome. I told him I got free food buffet and a free t-shirt but none of the guys were looking at me they were all watching the game. He replied that if he were there he would be looking at me....ya  ya ya sweet talker he is, I don't fall for that anymore, not since he told me he learned it as a technique to get women that we are seduced from our ears....

Monday I found one more person who wanted an angel reading for a new relationship she was in, she offered to read me in exchange so I did it for her. It's good to barter with people I am trying to teach everyone I know to do more of that. Anyway I told her I wanted to know if I should go to school and finish my degree like my boss said I would need to do to move up. I then went and mailed something that I had sold on E-bay and got some boxes to pack up a few other items that I plan to sell. I was having lunch with Mary that afternoon and in a quiet moment the angels told me to tell her that the only thing that is keeping her from having more money (she has had some money concerns for some time now) is Fear and that she needs to clear that out and she certainly knows someone who can barter services with her to take care of that. I told her this when I saw her and she said she knows that I am right. Then we talked about me, there was much to cover... First we talked about Randy and she said it was good that I am going to Vermont with him and that is why my grandma was there because she likes him, but she said when I get back to keep looking for another mate, because despite how much the whole universe wants he and I together he is still being stubborn and proably will never be the man I need him to be. Thats alot for her to say because she always rooted for he and I , she said she wanted to text him to tell him to get me something for Valentines day because we know he won't but she resisted. I said I don't care anymore I gave up thinking he would ever give me anything long ago and I told her I told him I am looking for a new guy. I just want a man to buy me a house and give me some stability and when she asked me could I live in his house if he fixes it up and I said I don't think that I could, not after they had been there and ruined it. But he could rent that one and buy a new one for us.....then I said STOP I am tired of trying to figure out things with him tired tired tired of it. SO then we talked about my descion to get my degree and the road blocks I am having and she said you don't really want to do this do you? And I said no I don't I really want to spend my life being a healer, but the corporate job gives me the stability that I need. So we went round and round till I came to this descion. I do not want to get my degree now anymore than I did when I  was in college, or when my youngest started school and I was married or when I first got my J&J job and they offered tuition re-embursment. The answer I always go back to is NO I do not what a degree and I don't think I should have to have one when I work so hard and do so much and am smarter and better than the ones who's mommies and daddies paid for educations for them. So the descion was to do the job I am paid for, and no more, to keep looking in other groups in my same company where I can move up with out the degree because others have and I was told in my old group that I can, and I was going to put my energy into whatever it takes to be a healer. She said that I have even more power than the average Reiki master that I also have the power to heal the soul and the spirit of those who are drawn to me. I know that she is right and while we were talking she said a spirit was there and she said to tell me she used to call me Cassidy (instead of Cassie) that would be my Great Grandma I told Mary...and I told her the story of when I was 5 and she had a stroke and I stood by her bed with my ABC book and taught her how to talk again, for the rest of her life she said E was for ElephaNUT! LOL Mary cried she said see even when you were 5 you knew you were to be a healer, go back to that and that's where you belong.

I left there feeling very good and very hopeful and at peace about the degree thing. I was not going to feel jealous or restenful that I worked much harder and got paid much less that others in my group. Its not what I am meant to do and thats OK. I circled and cricled and I went back to where I began. I noted it was about time for Randy to head to work and wondered if I would see him, I decided to turn by the 7-11 instead of going further down (MaryK no scolding me! LOL) and there was his truck there, gettin his coffe and food for his night shift. The light was red and I debated and debated on if I wanted to go in there, finally deciding not to, I didn't need anything and he didn't need to think I was just there all the time anyway...as the light turned green he came out and I got a glimpse of him in his uniform, so cute he is..I drove down the street to pass the bay and head home when my phone beeped.... I C U at 7-11 it said......

So today don't worry so much if you seem to be going in circles trying to figure something out..........sometimes we need to circle around and around something untill it is healed and sometimes we circle back to where we started because that is the place where we belong............wait and see, and in the meantime enjoy the journey!


With Love and in the Light, Cassie

PS: when I went to my spiritual facebook page to put up my blog link Adele from my Angels group had done my reading for me, this is what she said:

OK! HEre goes... I used my Archangel Oracle Deck by Doreen

I got Archangel Uriel Claircognizance, Archangel Ariel Prosperity and Archangel Raphael Breathe.

Well, lol, I'm not sure there is an interpretation that is needed just looking at the cards but.... here goes :)

I'm hearing that you really shouldn't have to even ask this question because you know the answer. The card says "Pay attention to your thoughts and ideas that come to you, as they are answered prayers." Which leans into the prosperity card. You're humble and happy you're not looking to be a millionaire but you're looking to live a full and prosperous life doing what you love... and guess what, your intuition is right. The second card says "Your material needs are provided as you follow your intuition and manifest your dreams into reality." The last one is interesting to me. It says "Take several deep breaths and exhale slowly to awaken your energy and to release old patterns." What I hear is that you are feeling the pressure that your bosses are offering you. It's a generous offer but you know in your heart that it's not what you want. Take a moment, find your center in your heart Chakra and breathe into it. You'll feel the darkness clear and you'll find out your answer all along is to go after what you love and what feeds your soul.

Hehe... that was fun!