12-26-11 Gifts from the Heart
Friday Dustin posted on facebook that his roomate had 4 montain bikes that he left and he needed to get rid of so I posted and asked him to bring one or two for his brother when he came here in the spring to visit and take his brother to the race. He replied that it would slow down his gas mileage from the trip. Ugh In the evening I was heading over to get more free concert tickets from Starland Ballroom. It makes me so happy to get these free for my members, and this was a Led Zeppelin cover band, one we had seen before and they are really good. I got a text from Randy asking if I was mad (I hadn't said a word back when he said he couldn't make it over to see me that night before I left for my trip) I simply replied that No just sad and lonely, got nothing else to say but u have a Merry Christmas........he replied that he was here for me but he had to buy and wrap more christmas gifts was just busy. I didn't belive him as I knew he had taken the entire weekend before to do that but I didn't want to fight. I just said back to him no you are not here for me you are there for them ,drop it , have a Merry Christmas.
After we picked up the tickets I took Jeremy for a hair cut. He had spent the day on hold and straightened out his unemployment but the money would not be there till tuesday so he was broke. After the haircut we went to get kitty litter and two bags of salt, things I can't lift when he is not there to help me. Since we were leaving the next day and didn't have a meal at home I took him to White Castle for the $13 10 burger deal. If you eat that cheap it really is less expensive than cooking at home, Randy was right I thought. I told him I wish I'd get rich enough to eat out all the timeI whatever I wanted. Then driving home he was saying I bet you are happy I am going to go to Florida and not live with you, I told him not really, what I wish is that both my sons would live in houses next door to me. That we could have our own space but be together for meals and visits and babysitting. He then told me that he thinks he will be single for a very long time because he has "work to do" helping others and a relationship would take his focus. I told him maybe so and that I was pretty sure that was one reason my mate never came yet, because I was supposed to build these social groups and help lonely people. I told him I was sorry I never found him a new dad like he wanted when he was 6 yrs old and his dad got put in jail and we divorced. Then we got to talking about Randy and I said if things had gone differentlty and we had moved in with him when we got that offer on my house you guys would have been buddies, you have so much in common I know you would have been buddies. Yeah he said wistfully, I shoulda let you move us down here then and I wouldn't have gotten into all that trouble that I got into too. Right about then my phone rang and he answered it since I was still driving us home.....it was Randy and they chatted for a good bit before I took the phone, both of them agreeing I should have left that night for Ohio instead of waiting and going in the morning. Once I got on the phone I reminded him that one of the reasons I waited was he was supposed to come see me that night. Ooohhh well I gotta shop and wrap more they are making me work UPS tommorow, said whoever don't show up tommorow is fired. GOOD! I told him, once they see on the day shift how good you are and how fast you are they are gonna put you on days for sure! I hope so he said......
Saturday we got up, got on the road and were blessed with clear dry roads, I made it to Ohio in record time.
While driving to Ohio had an idea, I had no idea if it was possible or not but I sure knew that I wanted to try. I was going to look into GIVING my house to the township, because really and truly what I wanted was for them to have it so that it could be enjoyed by many for years to come. It made me feel so good to think that maybe I could give the gift of a river front park to all those who would come in years to come. God would find me another way to have a home someday.... When we got to Ohio I gave Dad the presents we brought him and he liked them all, even though I had spent little this year. Then we all went to my Aunt Brenda's for Christmas eve dinner and I think nearly all my Belmont relatives were there. I hadn't been able to buy gifts for them and warned them of that in advance so I was really suprised to get a couple little gifts. It made me cry. It's good to be loved, and little tokens like that are so nice to get, something tangible to keep and remember you were thought of. Christmas has been so comercialized by the stores that some people think we should NOT give gifts anymore, that Jesus is the reason for the season, and he IS but he was, he is a gift. The sharing and giving of gifts is a tradition I would like to see preserved. We just need to get back to the spirit in which it began, the giving of LOVE and sharing
Randy texted me Christmas eve to see if I got here safe and ended up calling me, turns out his "family" had left him and gone up north to thier family and wasn't coming home untill the next afternoon. And to add insult to injury the kids had texted him to tell him that they passed him at 7-11. He was pretty suprised that she was that selfish that she didn't come back to get him and now he was there all alone wondering why he went to all the bother to decorate and put up a tree. I told him he didn't want to hear what I thought about that and instead asked him about his day........he went on for about an hour and I listened to him and encoraged him and then he said it was a good Christmas, he had quiet and he had me. I told him how un-right the whole thing was though, and how when he was with me he was talking to his ex, why do you always do that? Because every relationship goes sour, they all get mad at him. Then he started on how I always got mad at him....I told him this conversation is taking a turn for the worse lets say good night. We wished each other a Merry Christmas and hung up. I went out to my computer and shot off a quick e-mail to the township asking if I could give them my house, and then I was inspired to send Randy that youtube video I had posted in the last blog. He had viewed it late that night and replied Merry Christmas Love Randy....I replied the same to you...
Christmas day we woke up and I checked messages while Dad made us breakfast, I found this good thing to post on my page:
It's so true too.. We went to church with my Dad and when they did the prayer requestes I added Randy to the list. I texted him afterwards to tell him and he said thank you. After church we went to my cousin Rob's and his wife Gails house. Rob (and his brother Brad) are the closest I ever had to brothers, and when he met Gail she and I became close, even getting pregnant and having our oldest son's two weeks apart, both who grew up and joined the Air Force! Her son is so loving with her though, I wish my oldest was half as close to me.. But anyway it was a nice day, and I am reminded that I do have plenty of family here who love me. I hadn't heard from Randy so I texted to say I hope he had a nice day and that his family came home....I got no reply and realized that I had just been someone to message and fill the empty moments, now that the boys were back he was off playing again and had forgotten me again........ I am still alone, like a gift left under the tree that no one came to unwrap, to take home, to cherish and to love. Or no more like the practical wooden blocks, the solid kind you can keep for ever and build with but the gift that gets left in the corner when the bright shiny toy with the batteries and the flashing lights gets unwrapped..... *sigh*.....he'll remember me when the batteries go dead again.......
My dad gave me $20 before he went to bed, apologizing that he hadn't bought me gifts like my mother would have done. I didn't mind though, as I said she always got me things she wanted that I ended up gvinging to her. LOL I will buy something with this $20 and show him what he "got" me and how much I like it. Jeremy was nagging that I hadn't yet worm the hat and scarf he got me so I made a note to put them on the next day when we went out to shop. Dustin did not call me but he had been on speaker phone earlier in the day with my dad and we said hello. Gotta work on that relationship in the New Year I thought to myslef.... I was making plans to head to the mall and check out the sales and Dad was saying how busy it would be with people making returns....
Today I want you to reflect on the gifts you have been given , weather they were tangible items or from the spirit. Even if they were not the right size or the right color or something you didn't need do apreciate the spirit in which they were given. The same goes for the gift of Jesus, some say that he was not born this time of year, some follow a different religion all together. It matters not what you belive just that you understand the message of love. The gift that was given to you in hopes that you would pay it forward, again and again and again.............
With Love and In the Light, Cassie
No comments:
Post a Comment