11-11-11 Wish Big!

11-11-11  Wish Big!

So Monday morning I wake up with the sound in my head: red rover red rover we dare Cassie over and as I am getting ready for work I heard it a few more times. I laughed at them whoever was there and thought I'll show ya! Having no idea what it meant but for some reason I was full of spunk and vinegar that day and I sure needed it too. I headed to the office and had a busy day to face of catching up with what I missed Friday, dealing with the inevitable glitches of the system upgrade they had done for my complaint software over the weekend (my software is managed by people who have never done my job and thus make decisions that are idiotic in many instances), and trying to reach the mortgage company, the school for Jeremy and the insurance company. No luck on the phone, am I the only one who works on Mondays? Randy texted mid morning and said: that was fun...my reply...yep... well then find some more time for me again soon....sure will he replied. I spent some time thinking about the conversations we had the night before while I drove home later that day (thinking's good in the car it keeps me from being ticked off that there are so many cars in my way)

First I thought of the gentle lecture Randy gave me the night before on trusting strangers and also reminded me that I had not paid sufficient attention to him when he told me the house had contacted him about being robbed and that it was going to injure the person. We really needs to harness his gift I thought and made a mental note... Then I thought about his reply to my whining about how awful it is I am still single and alone he told me I needed to adjust my expectations, you don't need the leather seats and the sun roof he told me! I smacked him LOL but I did get his point, sometimes being picky isn't about what you want its about being afraid to choose.... Then we got on the topic of "her" and how he just took what he could get, but then again he also started complaining about her and how much he hates her and wishes she'd leave...so like I am not following his example! As I pulled off the rt 35 exit to head home there he was coming out of 7-11 with his coffee and heading to work....I thought to myself that if he lived with ME there would be coffee at home for him, and clean travel mugs too..... But anyway I texted: I C U at 7-11....awesome he replied...

When I got home I talked to Jeremy about his thoughts on going to join a gym, the huge billboard advertising $10 a month at Work out World had been beckoning me for a couple months now and I wondered how I was going to get any exercise in the winter.... He said he might go with me sometimes so I said lets go check it out and we did! I got one membership, costing 3.5 times more than the billboard price.... but I can bring one guest each and every time I go so that's a good deal and i can take all the classes that i want. When Randy texted at his dinner break I told him and he said awesome and I will go with you so we made plans to go Sunday when he gets off work. I also posted to my facebook page so that my friends will go too. I really really hate to exercise but if I go with a friend I will do it, and now that I am spending money I can't afford I must go. I am just going to have to trust the universe to bring me more money. My fortune cookie the day before had read: You lead a useful life no matter what riches are coming to you. So I must believe! I could use some riches about now, and I will always help people.. I wondered if joining the gym was the red-rover dare?.....

Tuesday I woke up and had been having some really bad dream about losing my purse. I looked everywhere for it and was in such a panic and people were helping me but I could not find it, on some level of my consciousness I also told myself this is a dream and your real purse is where you put it last night. I didn't need a dream dictionary to tell me that this dream represented my fears of losing my identity. What the heck is that about I wondered? Fear of losing the protective fat? Fear of getting close to someone since Randy was texting so much the day before and making plans and calling it a date? Oh well perhaps it was nothing big and already resolved, I shrugged it off and did some work on my website and then I got an e-mail from Photo-ID they had a new person working the cases but she assured me my segment was going up the end of this month, her name: Angel Gabriel, i kid you not! I guess angels are looking over this project! I was happy and I headed out the the meetup karaoke event..... That was loads of fun and I met one organizer whom I had been trying to get out to meet for months! Joe also was there, he told me the date is set for our first singles personality evaluation meeting which was very exciting. I ended up making a few videos of the various people and groups singing karaoke and one gal whom I had given a SpiritStone to awhile back asked me to "re-charge" it for he so I did, then a friend of hers asked me to "charge" her cross necklace, I tried but I don't feel that it worked..guess she will let me know... All and all a really great night and I was feeling so happy and loved.........

Wednesday rolled around though and my work flow was insane! Then I tried to e-mail the event organizers the videos but they were too big so I put them on my you tube page and I sent the links to the two group organizers and told them to view them, post links if they saw fit or tell me where to upload them to. A bit later I got a nasty text from my friend, the one who has gotten violently angry at me a few times and then apologized later. He had a fit about the one of him being on you tube-  i took it down right away, apologized profusely, and promised to never video tape him again, as I read through his cursing at me e-mails, where he copied several people on them, and read his half dozen texts for the next three hours though I felt less and less bad for upsetting him and more and more indignant that he had allowed me to video him if he was going to get so upset. I was wrong, I know but his reaction just seemed so disproportionate. Then again I know him and I know he has a lot of anger and unresolved issues, I made a mental note to be even more loving to him in the furture.......still I took myself off the list for the next karaoke event knowing it will take me a bit of time to recover from that onslaught.

In the evening I headed down to work out world to meet with the guy who was going to train me on the machines, only it turned into an evaluation where they tried to talk me into spending another $500 on a personal trainer........I had to get really firm with him when I said no. And people wonder why no one likes salesmen, this is why i can NEVER be a salesperson, in am not nor do I believe in being pushy. But anyway we did the whole plan thing the body calculations and he ended up setting up a complimentary session for him to design a work out routine for me. Since Randy said I should record this from the start to the end I am sharing here the picture and it clearly shows just how bad I am. The time for shame has to be gone, this is me right now today.........get a good look because it wont be here forever. This is my goal for a year:


I am going to do my best.......let see how close I can get to the goal in a year, and the next and the next...


Thursday at the office I ran into a co-worker who had been out on maternity leave, when she asked me how I was I told her of my robbery at the old house, she said I should file a claim with my insurance company. She said that I can do that and I can keep the money if I want to. I guess it can't hurt to look into it....lord knows I need the money. My buddy Mike called and said he'd buy me dinner if I met him after work so I did. I asked him some guy advice, and he said that was totally normal guy behavior to pay a lot of attention to you right after they see you then drift off as the week progress, don't mean they don't care. So I texted Randy and asked if he wanted to come see me the next night when he got off work. I had a half day, was going to a wedding and I knew I would much rather go home to be with him after than go out dancing to the after party or to a singles event Tina was having...he replied yes and I was so happy, and Mike said wow he does like you don't he? Yep I said as I replied I sure will to his be ready for me text.... I was in good spirits .....till I got home and opened my mail and saw that my credit card company had drastically cut my credit limit! This is the card I have my car insurance bill going on! I tried really hard to not worry. Then Pam texted me to tell me that the new CassiesCalendar went live and I happily annouced that and sent out my very first newsletter from the site. I went to sleep that night with tons of money worries and lots of high hopes and wishes for the success of the websited..........dear God please let it make us some money I don't know how much longer I can keep my head above water and if I loose my car insurance.......no no it was too much to even think about....

Friday a half day of work and then off to the wedding. But first I slapped up the workshop Joe and I were doing with these personality testing people The Alchemy of Attraction, I think we can really do something to help these people and earn a few bucks too! Anyway the wedding was so beautiful, I cried and I cried. I have been friends with this woman for many many years through my events and CassiesCalender, and she took a long time in finding her guy....she wanted someone special, a real and true gentelman and he finally came along. Seeing the look on both of thier faces made me see how important it is to not give up on your dream or compromise too much. It was inspiring to be a part of thier special day, and our favorite band was playing there, Amethyst 80's, they had given her a discount for exchange of me doing advertising for them for gigs on CC. But as the day drug on I got tired and I skipped out a little early, anxious to see Randy...........he texted me right after I got home and asked me how the wedding was......good I said are you still coming at 9:20? Yeah but I cant' stay long he replied.........when do you have to go? Maybe 9:45.......I kept my cool and I just said Why? Oh the kid wants to go out for a beer with he me said......25 minutes is NOT long enough I said, either come and stay a couple hours or do not come at all............thats not fair he replied............yes it is........then he said i was being mean that as a parent I should know better than to ask him to blow off his kid...........I am a parent and I keep dates I said, its your choice..........then he got upset and said no i was the one making a bad choice........I then said you never should have told me you would come if you weren't going to, I could have gone out to the after party or I could have gone to a singles event. ......and for good measuer I added this has always been the problem between us, you always wanted to blow me off for the boys. He had nothing else to say. Just as well............my wish is for a man who wants to spend time with me, who would never choose going out for a beer with the boys over coming home to me. Not that friend time isnt important but with Randy he drops his women like a hot potato whenever a guy wants to chill, and it has nothing to do with him being a pretend parent, before it was the kid it was Jimmy or Jack or Ritchie and the stories of all his other breakups match. No he still is the same old Randy, good in so many ways but this one this is too big to ignore. My wish, my BIG wish is for a man who puts ME first, as I would put him first.....not without plenty of freedom between us but still not one who hadnt seen me in 5 days and only wanted to seeze me in for 25 minutes......

Today is 11-11-11 and as I type this soon it will be 11:11pm.............I have a few wishes to make...........how about you? Don't sell yourself short..............Wish BIG!!!!



With Love and in the Light, Cassie


My wishes:

1.To make ALOT of money with CassiesCalendar and to help others to be happy and find love and friendships through my events and the events that I share for them.
2. To find my man who is going to love me and put me first and be my very best friend, either that to be Randy to finally choose to mature or for God to bring someone else, I am open to the universe to know who is best for me and when.
3. To stick to the gym and to loose ALL the weight so that I can bike and hike and go all the places I want to explore.
4. For my sons to find wives when they are ready and have lots of kids for me to love and spoil and be a grandma too
5.For the people of this planet to let go of thier pain and hurt and just love one another and our earth more, to raise the vibrations for us all!