10-14-11 Dreams to Build

10-14-11  Dreams to Build

So Monday I decided to start a journey into myself. The first thing I thought was how will I know how to do this? What does it look like? How do I plan it? What am I searching for? I had no answers for these questions so I did what I always do and I asked God to help me. Shortly after that I got a call from my buddy and he was upset about yet another ex-GF moving on and finding someone and he was re-thinking the wisdom in breaking it off with her. I reminded him again of the reasons they broke up and to not go re-thinking the whole thing. I reminded him of the dream of what he wants for his life and to keep moving forward and not giving up on finding that spark with someone and settling for less. He asked me if I really believed in the spark and if I had it with Randy. I said yes to both questions and he said God help ya. He will I told him, he will.....

Tuesday was just another day at the office and in the evening I had chores and errands. One of my meetup friends had stopped over to see Jeremy and when he saw that I had a computer there that I was freecycling he said was that YOUR ad? He had answered it but I had so many replies I never got back to his. I ended up giving it to him because three people never showed whom I had promised it to. He was just amazed it had been mine, I wasn't though. He hung out for a bit and even went to Home Depot with us, he is trying to talk Jeremy into getting a fishing pole and going fishing with him. I had prayed for a buddy for Jeremy. In the evening I was working on my computer and Jeremy was watching TV and a reminder pops up to tell him that 30 Rock is coming on soon. I am like - wth? The TV tells you when a show you like is coming on? Yep he says and then he  tells me that the TV automatically changes the channel for him! And I sat there and heard myself say: In my day we had to get up and walk across the room to change the channel.........am I old? lol  Also in the evening my new friend Beth came for a visit to return the jewelry catalog and I wanted to speak to her about my ideas about studying some of the earth based spirituality. Some will call it Wicca or witchcraft but those words have so many negative connotations to some that we agreed we wanted to avoid those terms. Besides its about the lessons and respect of nature not about the religion that we want to convey. With all this in mind we decided to have our first one Oct 30th, which is a new year in the earth calendar and it seemed a fitting time indeed! We both talked of how we want to earn our livings by helping and teaching others. I told her just as I had been inspired with the name and logo for other endeavors I was sure I would also "get" one for this.

Wednesday  was a work from home day and also very hectic day in my life. It started off with my one tennat being lound and noisy and seemingly "on something" once again. His coming home in the middle of the night and waking me and the other people up had been going on for awhile, and moving him to the basement hadn't helped either. So I marched down there to quiet him down because he was so loud I couldn't work! He got belligerent and refused to turn it down, I told him he had to or I was calling the cops. He said give me my rent back and he would leave and I said you can have 4 days back but not the full week. He said no I want it all back, I said turn it down and went back upstairs. He called a friend and was loudly curing me out causing more noise, I knew I had to call the cops or my threat was in vain and he would know it from then on. So I called.....but he came up when he heard me on the phone and said he'd take the 4 days back and leave so I hung up.. I was concerned about losing the income but manifestation WAS the card of the day and I felt that his leaving was part of God's plan, it would give me more space for bigger workshop capacity and yoga and clear the energy. He had thrown up in the back yard even! I needed good energy NOT bad energy if I am to begin helping people here.

After that Beth and I exchanged a few e-mails with her ideas for the class and I was getting more and more excited and I started searching for pictures. Once I found one the name and tag line just came to me with ease and I went and created the below graphic. I posted it to my Spiritual in NJ Facebook page and people started tagging and commenting on it. I was so moved I cried! Then again I am hormonal and all with the change but still Spirit had inspired me of that I was certain! See the graphic I made below:

After work I got in my car to run to the grocery store quickly before Yoga and the car was riding funny. I got there and my tire was flat! When I came out I noticed both back tires were flat! I went to the gas station to put in air and called Jeremy. Then I called the yoga teacher. She said she would still come and if no one showed up she would go with me to drop it off to be repaired. So Jeremy put the doughnut on the worst one and re-aired the other and somehow we got it to Sears. I was a mess! I could not figure out how such a lovely day went so wrong. Sears told me the tires had been slashed with a knife! Well no guess on who did that, but I had no proof..... I really hate the legal system sometimes. As it turned out the other two were in bad shape from pot holes even though only a year old so I had to get 4 new tires. I held back my panic about money and said well perhaps God saved me from a blow out and possible worse damage on 287. I have to think that way and keep the faith no matter what happens.



Thursday driving to work fears of money krept into my mind again. I knew that loan I took out on my 401k was going to go even faster with me having one less roomate, and I was nervous about how soon my other endeavors like workshops and stones and my writing could pan out and earn me much extra money. So I prayed and prayed and prayed all the way to work Please get me a promotion! I do deserve one and am way past due but then again in this economy I am lucky to have a job at all I know. Later at my coffee break checking mail this came in from my converstations with God daily e-mail:

On this day of your life, cassie, I believe God wants you to know...

...that money is not the issue. Having the courage to

give your highest gift is the issue.

There is no security in doing something for a living

when you are dying inside while doing it. That is taking

care of the body at the expense of the soul. And a

withering soul cannot help but produce a withering body.

So do not think you are "taking care of yourself" by

killing your spirit to keep your body alive.

How long will you put off what you are dying to do?

Wow, hit the nail on the head wow. It was clear what I needed to do... I vowed to get busy and finish my soul mate work shop and spend friday night on that and posting my stones on e-bay or something. I begged off the Improv meetup, I wasnt feeling well and my ex stone selling partner had signed up and I couldnt face that either. I need to move forward with that too and  like Beth and all the others said I do NOT want those stones back from him, she said the energy I put on them is surely gone and his negative, cluttered, no work ethic energy has gone into them and they would need too much cleansing. 

That night I took Jeremy to get his bike, and we passed a ribs place. I had not taken him out to eat in a very very long time. That had always been our thing he and I we'd work hard on the house and yard and then go out to dinner. So I decided to step out in faith and buy us a meal. When the bill came it was higher than I thought it would be, $3 per soda? But I knew I couldn't spluge on the tip either, that is one of the first laws of abundacne is to give and to share and not hoard your money. People who hoard think they are gaining security for themselves but really they are causing themselves to be trapped in old ways with old things and not allow in new. But I digress. I decided to belive in my dream of earning money by helping others and I was going to show the Universe that I had the faith to see that dream through..... But like any dream or wish or prayer we still have to do the work!

Today I want you to take a look at the dreams that you have had for your life and ask yourself can you find the courage and do the work to make them come true???? I know you can..........if you can't see it look deeper.............

With Love and In the Light, Cassie