3-3-12 Time of Healing

 3-3-12   Time of Healing

Monday all day I was so sick, my ears felt like they were stuffed with cotton and I was not able to hear. I was miserable and all I wanted to do was get home to rest. My hospice supervisor called me and wanted me to meet her at a new assignment the next day, I could barely hear her on the phone so I just explained my illness and that she should call me the next day to see if I was well enough to meet her. I rushed home to get the futon in the basement ready to show and ended up renting it that evening to a young man who seemed happy to have a place to lay his head despite the lack of privacy there. I then spent the evening on my web-work, trying desperately to get CassiesCalendar newsletter to work again to no avail. I gave up and watched a pretty interesting video one of my friends had posted Psycics Predicitions for 2012 from 30 yrs ago I re-posted it knowing that if anyone dared to believe it, which most would not, that they may be scared. Still I felt compelled to share anyway in the hopes that if anyone wanted to take this as potentially true and work on straightening out thier lives it would be a good idea, actually its a good idea all the time but most people need motivation. Then I took a bunch of different things for my sinuses including some of the "fish pills" that Randy had brought me before. I put him and everything else out of my mind and went to bed.

Tuesday driving to work it was very difficult listening to my book on CD, The Alchemist , in the car. I had the volume up as high as it would possibly go! I still was trying to find things to help me get better and one pen pal from my angels group told me to try apple cider vinegar, two tablespoons mixed in water. Then I got to thinking about a friend I had not heard back from in quite sometime, I had no idea why but I decided to not push it, she would or would not answer my messages when she felt like it, still it troubled me and I wondered if she was mad at me for something I had no clue about. I had my pen pal get a "read" on it and she said she sensed that she has retreated to heal.  So she was heavy on my mind as I drove to a Reiki healing circle share that evening when suddenly the idea came into my head that maybe a mutual friend who was angry with me and bashing me all over the place had said something to her, I heard he was saying all kinds of awful untruths about me trying to turn people against me, this friend knew me well and defended me but others do not know me as well as he does. The social circle crowd is full of hurt people who do not behave in the best of ways when they percive they are slighted in some way, its down right nasty actually and I can't tell you how many times people have been angry at me for something and I had no clue and in the end they found out they had mistakenly listened to false information. Its tough being a leader let me tell you, but over the years I have learned to not let it bother me, those who are meant to be in my life find thier way back in time and those who do not that also is fine.... I had no idea if I was right but I sent the angles to handle it and sent her love and light.

The Reiki healing sesssion was very nice, we took turns sharing and giving energy to each other and I was glad to use some of my rusty skills, primarily using my energy on my SpiritStones to give out is nice but its even more rewarding to feel the heat when I am transfering the energy directly to a person, and to hear them say how wonderful it makes them feel. After we did that we held hands in a circle and sent energy to the planet and to the people on it and were encoruaged to name names of people whom we wish to send healing energy to. The friend who hadn't answered my messages was the first name out of my mouth, then my sons and my father and others that I knew. I decided to also include Randy and then reluctantly the name of the man who is angry with me and bashing me to our mutual friends, I know deep down what a good guy he can be, I also know some of his story and thusly his pain.  At then end of the evening the Reiki teacher had various types of card decks out and told us to ask a question and to draw one card, my card said YES, your intuition is right now go and do what is needed to remedy the situation. I knew it meant the friend, all I could think of doing was to continue to send out love and healing energy to her and thats what I started to do, regularly, each time she came to mind...

Wednesday was an un-remakable day, still sick but slightly better. I took Jeremy to buy his groceries and then out to dinner. He got a bit emotional because a court notice had come in the mail. He cried and said his life is still a mess, I tried to comfort him some and wish he could see what I see, its been over a year and no seizure, he drinks less, he smokes less, no drugs, he doesnt fight with me and he's restless to get back to work. Time has brought him healing to him and to our relationship as well I am glad he lives here with me now. In the evening my trainer at the gym called me and I told her I wanted to put the sessions on hold. She was trying to get me to come in, because she gets paid if I come in, but I told her it was senseless for me to use the sessions now when I am sick every other week, I told her I need time to heal before I can get back into working out 3 or 4 times a week again. Its a waste of time to use a trainer if I am not going regularly but I know I will feel more up to it soon and I am not going to feel bad about myself for not feeling like doing it now.

Thursday was the first day of March and I recalled how my grandmother alwasy used to say that if March came in like a lion it would go out like a lamb. It was a cold and drizzly day here and I hoped that counted. After work I went over to Walmart and on an impulse bought a kite, why not I thought? It may be a good way to get some fun exerscise for my new group, and also reliving childhood can often bring up old memories to heal as well. In the parking lot the sky was amazing, a big divide of clear sky vs cloudy, as if it was trying to decide if it wanted to be a lion or lamb. I got a shot of it with my cell phone, see below:

 

It seemed a fitting sight for the day and made me think of the earth and its cycles of wellness (sunny skies) and of healing (storms and clouds).

Friday I had to drive over to PA for a meeting for work, total waste of my time that was! But since I was over there I contacted Mary and had dinner with her.  I had brought up to Mary about the one friend who wasn't answering my messages, she told me she sensed something had hurt her and she had retreated. Invite her to lunch she said, I decided not to do that but I did decided to keep messaging her now and again, she'll come around Mary said. We talked about Randy briefly, she said it was a shame he chose to not heal and grow, how he'd wasted this lifetime, but that it was right of me to stay away from him now and to not keep causing injury to myself because of him. I told her though that I no longer hurt over him, he may want to keep punishing me and being prideful by allowing that woman who does not love him stay there as a barrier to us but that's ok and I am greatful really that she is there otherwise I would have been in her shoes and I wasn't happy when I was there, he just lies wayyyyy too much and lies cause me such internal distress as I sense them but can't believe someone whom I love would be so dishonest with me. After that we headed out. She had a reading to go do and I was really sick by that time of day what with the long drive the long meeting not having acces to my meds and such. She told me that she could see my energy was a mess! So when I finally got home at 8pm I went straight to bed.

Saturday I had a walking event for my group http://www.meetup.com/FunandEasyFitness/ , it was a foggy and drizzly day and many backed out but one person posted and said he was coming so I went, we ened up with one more and the three of us walked for 30 minutes before the rain stopped us. We went out for a nice breakfast though and talked and ended up getting on the topic of pain and therapy and family problems, one really poured out a big problem and the other two of us gave some comfort and advice. We each had a little bit to share of our painful pasts we were healing from. I joked and said we should call this walking-talking and therapy! But see this is why I no longer like the big events with tons of people, these kind we get to know one another on a deeper level. Ah but to each thier own. I brought up the kite flying idea to them and the one guy told me he had several kites in his truck! I guess then you will be up to a kite flying event I asked and will you help me with locations and such and he was very interested. I really think doing some of the things we did as kids is going to be fun and theraputic!

So today I want you to be mindful of yourselvess and to take some time and slow down and see where you need to rest and heal. Also look at some of your relatioships and see if they perhaps need a little care and comfort. I told them today that all any of us really wants is to be loved, just the way we are and I know that each of us were let down in our lives by someome, be it a parent or a sibling or a mate or whoever. Take some time and heal those hurts the best you can......it will open up so many possiblities in your life!

With Love and in the Light,  Cassie