3-20 -12 Remembering the Past to Create the Future

3-20-12  Remembering the Past to Create the Future

Friday night after work I went to the Zoso Concer. It was OK, I wish I had gone later as I really wasn't interested in the opening bands but I did like Zoso, the Led Zeppelin cover band and so did my friends, it made them remember days of old and going to concerts and such. I personally never got to go to very many myself so this is like getting to have parts of young adulthood that I missed out on. One of my gal pals had came and rode over with me and I introduced her to one of my guy friends whom I know has been looking for a woman for sometime now. He finds them but he never keeps them due to his long work hours running his own company. But this friend is a single mom and has a couple business she tries to run and is just as busy..maybe its a good match I thought...so I whispered to her that he was looking for a relationship, then I told her the best thing about him and the worst thing (why he loses women) and she was not deterred. Next I whispered to him and told him to talk to her, that she was a nice gal and single...Which is exactly what he did. Going home she said some positive and negative things but said she would go out with him.I love playing matchmaker. I sat watching the rest of the show and I watched the people there, many of them couples, the men getting drinks for their women and holding their hands in the crowd and some kissing and hugging as they enjoyed the concert and I felt a little sad to still be alone and I said in a low but audible voice: St Michael help me, I so want a partner to share my life with......

Saturday I woke up and my card of the day was New Love he had heard me! I felt it in my heart that he had heard me and was working on this for me. I happily headed out for my walking and talking event, we had a lot of fun as usual and I told them about the matchmaking I did the night before and that I needed to speak to him about the negatives, they all said how nice it was that I helped my friends this way and I told them I had been doing this for years and I had plenty of stories to tell, one friend kept saying I should write a book that I must have many interesting stories to tell, she said it several times and I finally said that I am writing a book sort of, that I am doing this blog and I am hoping to get Cassies Path part 1 finished editing by Memorial Day that is my goal I set for myself, sooner would be even better. Just as my walk ended Mary called me to see how I was she said I had been on her mind and I told her about my prayer and the card and she said well be open tonight at the party she said. I was but I really had no time to talk to any men, even though I had seen one who looked interesting and I had seen him dancing with someone who hadn't been any hotter or younger than me by my estimations....... It's just that I am so surrounded by the people who do know me I never have time for anyone new, I had agreed to meet someone new and walk in with her because she was shy, I got her introduced around and into the mix, then several people wanted concert tickets so I made those rounds, then I ran into one who's frantically searching for work so I comforted her some,  then another who wanted Reiki blessings because she had to quit her new job and needed to get a new one, and the list goes on. But that's what I like to do...help people and comfort people and introduce them to new friends....

Sunday I had kite flying scheduled in the afternoon but I realized I was 300 miles past due to change my oil and I had a Sears coupon so I went there at 11am, walked in and as soon as I put my coupon on the counter the grumpy old man told me there were too busy and couldn't get to me for hours. I was pretty annoyed, especially since this same guy always tells me they don't have time for me but sometimes the other guys step up and say that they can get me in. So in my frustration I texted Randy, who did confirm that they were busy and he said come back later, which is what the guy had said. So I killed some time visiting a new place to go walking and took some photos and met everyone at 2pm. We had so much fun and I got my kite up very quickly and had only one mishap when mine and my friends kites crossed strings. The reason they crossed was we were too busy yapping LOL He runs a group with the gal that I wanted to run a group with, only we had a parting of ways because I wouldn't do everything her way. Now granted I know she is a success, and I know she wanted to help me but I just can't do EVERY thing the way someone wants me to do it. He told me that I should listen to her but then again he understood why I didn't, we both agreed that the dynamic was much better for him and her to work together. Besides they both had plenty of money and weren't trying to make any off events and I was back then, I have since given up on that idea....

After kite flying some of us went to the diner for dinner and talked. We got on the topic of Reiki and I was trying to explain it to them and I relayed the story of how when my friend Beth was working on me I felt something move in my heart, and she "saw" me as a little girl and how my mother yelled at me and she felt my pain and so did I and then I told them of how I talked to my Mom the next day and she had a dream and it was exactly what Beth had seen and my Mom and I got the chance to talk about that and she got to apologize to me for how she was when I was a little girl. One guy asked me, she died not long after that didn't she? And I said a few months later yes. I also told them about how my college friends made a Facebook group and we had spent a few weeks sharing photos and old stories and reminiscing. One friend posted several photos of my ex-husband (we had met in college) and we all talked about him some and it was nice to recall that there were some very very good things about him and to blow away some clouds of the dark moments that I mostly recall from our marriage.

Once we left the diner I went back to Sears, the turned me away again and told me to come back at 8, but I knew they closed at 8. I didn't even argue or complain I just walked out. Just as I got to my car another one pulled it right in front of me, it was Randy with a repair car he had been test driving. He asked me what was up and I told him, he said let me go in and talk to them. You can't do that I said they will know you know me, he waved a hand in dismissal of that comment and went and asked but he came back in out with bad news. Then he wanted to talk a bit, he looked so dirty and worn down and even old to me, I was grateful to not feel the stirrings of yearning for him.  The readers were right, he'd stall so long that in the end I wouldn't want him any longer.. We only got to talk for a few minutes till they called him back in again to work but I was a glad. I left and stopped at Target to get a better kite, they had a dual control one that can do stunts so I got it to try it. As I was checking out I got a text from Randy saying it was good to see me...ugh he's just trying to sweet talk me so I give in for pokey again.... ya ya I replied I just wish I could have gotten my oil changed, he told me don't worry it will be OK....of course he did not offer to come over and change it for me.....

Monday I was so very tired all day at work, I did manage to get  Jeremy's bus ticket paid for and printed. He is going to meet his brother in Ohio, go see their grandfather then go to a Nascar race together then come back here for Easter. I am so glad that his brother bought him a ticket and that he gets a chance to go do something fun, he's not had much chance for that yet in his life. I got the bus ticket for only $30, its a red eye and I never heard of the company but we think it will be OK. After work I got my oil changed at jiffy lube, they were fast and efficient  but it cost me double what Sears coupon was for. I was so annoyed that I texted Randy. He called me later and talked to me while he was at work and we both complained about the grumpy guy at Sears. He told me that he makes him loose business, I got so annoyed again that I decided to e-mail Sears and complain about him. Randy wanted to talk more but I really didn't want to, I recalled all the painful moments over these past few years with him disappointing me and letting me down and not loving me the way that he should and I was glad very glad that my heart has lost its yearning for him and ny body has no desire to be touched by him any more either. We may or may not cross paths but it truly doesn't matter one way or the other. I have my own path to follow now............

Tuesday I woke up and Freedom was the card of the day and I know that I am totally free, I can choose my path and my fate in whatever I want it to be!  At 1am the spring equinox  had begun, the day that the days officially start to grow longer in terms of sunlight, the celebration of Ostara to the pagans, a new fresh beginning and a new moon to boot! Oh the world us full of hope and promise!

Today I want you to take a look back at your past, see what you have learned, what you have left behind and how you have grown. Do not be afraid to look at the GOOD memories in fondness and let them expand your heart and raise your vibration and gently lay down any bad memories and do not bring them with you. We are moving into a bold new future, stronger, more powerful than ever before and the thoughts we keep with us are the ones that will create our personal futures...........make them good ones!!

With Love and in the Light,  Cassie